I've had several ideas for my next blog...different ways I could pour out my heart for the whole world to see. Things that are real to me, and them. The ideas would come and then fade. Some would linger longer. This is not the post I thought I would be making; not the escape I thought I would be escaping.
I lost a friend. Not just any friend...she was my best friend, a part of my everyday but not always the same way. If she wasn't a knock in the dark, a text or voice mail or call, she was in my heart, my prayers. I have lost friends and loved ones before. But this time it's different...unexpected...my everyday will now have to be different.
We laid her to rest on Wednesday afternoon, all dealing with her passing in different ways. Escaping the reality of her passing through the shadow in different ways. On that day, even though I was sad, it seemed easier because Jesus made my means of escape clear to me, that I had been made new and my old escape was unnecessary now. He comforted me.
Today is a different day. It sinks in, Slow.
Lonely.
My everyday is different now.
Today it's empty, hollow, blank.
This is when I know that I have to turn my face to the One who can fill to overflowing.
This is when I know that I have to pray for those that don't know how or can't recognize these feelings that come from being on the other side of the shadow.
This.....
is Him calling, once again, "let me be your only escape." But He's not just calling me.
I can't fully escape the reality of her death, changing my everyday. But I can rest and find comfort in knowing that G's reality right now, is SO MUCH BETTER THAN MINE. I can escape in the knowledge that when He calls my name, we won't miss a beat.
